Since the 60 minute segment aired on Sunday night I can’t help but think how much it may have negatively affected many mums sitting in their lounge room already doubting their ability to parent.
We receive so much information in the media on the best ways to parent and what’s best for our babies and children. So much money and time is spent on research and what does this give us as mums. Confusion, guilt?
I breastfed my baby’s until 18 months and 15 months. They both slept in our bed and at one stage I had two single mattress together with a child each side of me. Did I give it much thought? No, I did what was best for me and our family at the time. ( I was a struggling, sleep deprived mother) Isn’t this really the message that should be sent to all mothers and families? Do the best you can with what you have. I’m not suggesting that we dismiss all advice and experience from others, but merely take the advice and pick and choose what you implement
A line which I continue to recall from Sunday night episode was “Do you know my baby has never cried” Are you kidding me!!! Despite crying being a babies language, I translate this line into many mums minds “I must be doing something wrong, my baby cries” No, you are not doing anything wrong and you are doing the very best you can do with your baby, in your situation, with the tools and resources you have at the time, and yes babies cry. This is how they communicate and achieve a response from you as a mother.
“Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space (Ainsworth, 1973;Bowlby, 1968) Attachment behavior in adults towards the child includes responding sensitively and appropriately to the child’s needs. Such behavior appears to be universal across cultures. Ainsworth and Bowlby do not mention that attachment theory includes breastfeeding until the child is 6 or co –sleeping. It suggests that the caregiver provides safety and security for the infant. Forming attachments is also not necessarily with who feeds and changes the child but who plays and communicates with him or her and responds to their needs.
Responding sensitively and appropriately for you may be bottle feeding; it may be sleeping in a different room. You may be forced to sleep in a different room if your baby was premature or unwell and in hospital.
The point I’m trying to make is that if you are not applying the modern attachment parenting practices that were shown on 60 minutes it does not mean you do not have a strong attachment to your baby or child.
You are doing what is best for you, your child, and your family. ox
