Mother's Day, a day many mothers are made to feel special and appreciated and their children get the opportunity to spoil them. Some may even get the day of 'reduced chores' and pampering. It's also a day where we reflect on how rewarding and challenging the role of being a mother can be.
Mother's Day is a day we may think of our own mothers and value the role they played in our lives. For many it's a day of smiles, cuddles, breakfast in bed and sharing the day with family.
For many though Mother's Day is full of sadness. A day that triggers pain due to grief and loss. For those who have lost their mother its a day of memories and reflection. There are many people who have also lost contact with their mother who may also feel this grief on Mother's Day.
Mother's Day will also be challenging for mothers who have lost a child. The sad memories of crisis and loss will be triggered. The thoughts of what they may look like today and how things may have been different if their child was not taken to early.
There are many woman who for what ever reason have not been able to have children. Mother's Day can cause feeling of grief for these women too. The intense want for children can be emotionally exhausting and Mother's Day may intensify these feelings.
Miscarriage can also be a cause for many women to experience grief and feelings of sadness on Mother's Day. The feeling of grief may return and trigger the sadness experience after loss. The thoughts of "what if".
There are so many scenario's as to why a mother will grieve on Mother's Day.
These feelings of sadness can be considered as normal process of grieving with the trigger of Mother's Day. The feelings of grief, sadness, guilt, anger, loneliness, emptiness and blame can all be described as a normal. It's important to work through these feelings and take the time to give your thoughts to the mother, child or role that you are grieving.
If you believe your feelings of sadness continue for an extended period; if you are unable to participate in day to day activities due to grief and sadness over a long period of time; if your grief consumes your thoughts for an extended period you may wish to contact a professional who will be able to work with you to move through the intense feelings to a safe space.
It is OK to feel sad for something you wish you had.
My thoughts are with all mothers on this Mothers Day. ox
Jo Kosylo
www.supportformums.org.au
